During this grieving process I have had to face a lot of cold hard truths and I find these times some of the most difficult moments. Truths like, my mom won't be there to take me wedding dress shopping, she will never get to meet her grand-kids and help me raise them, she never got to see me graduate for high school and college, she never gets to meet the love of my life. Not only does she not get to experience these moments but I don't get to either.
Sometimes I lay in bed at night and as i'm trying to fall asleep and these realizations pop into my head (of course keeping me from sleeping!) and I just cry. So many people who have been blessed with having their parents through all of these moments wouldn't even think twice about them not being there. Then there are people like me who have lost one of their parents and it's all we think about. It hurts. I get so jealous and angry with those who have not lost, not that I want anyone to lose someone but I just will never understand why it had to be me. I will never understand why because the only person who I believe knows is God.
I'm lucky to have been blessed with family and family friends who I know will help me get through these moments when they arrive. Of course it will never ever be the same but I know that it will help to at least have a support system. These are moments that I can never really prepare for but I know that when the time comes I will be okay.
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