Never the same

I will never be the same after losing my mother. I was a completely different person before her death and a completely different person after. Sometimes I wish that I could go back to the person before her death but at that time I was only a child. I was only a teenager who's biggest problem was trying to get a boy to like me. I will never forget my mother and I will never forget what her death did to me. It absolutely destroyed me. I've never been the same happy go lucky person that I use to be. My heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on. As I'm getting older in life I seem to be missing her more and more for big moments in my life. Everybody always says that "shes always with you" but she's not. There was a point in my life in which she was gone. That day was May 19th 2007. Over the past 8 years I have never felt her with me. I wish I could say that she was but she's not and that's the saddest part. I will never be over her death, I will continue to grieve until the very day that I die. It's going to be hard at some points following in my life and I wish I could say that I will have the strength but we will have to see when those moments get here.


Today's just one of those days...